Is That A Bostaff In Your Pocket
by AstrisDreams
Summary: ...or are you just happy to see me. Watch as one Wally West goes through the motions of picking up everyone. He educates everyone on how to successfully get a date. Will he succeed or will he fail spectacularly. Taking requests.
1. M'gann

Wally zetaed into Mt. Justice, with a wide grin on his face, he had finally figured out the perfect way to make M'gann fall in love with him it was foolproof.

Making his way to the living room he wilted a bit upon seeing the rest of the team gathered around, that was more attention than he wanted but he'd make do.

He zoomed up behind M'gann grinning at her, "Hello gorgeous."

"Hello Wally." She smiled softly, she couldn't help it he had such a contagious smile.

"So, are you an alien, cause baby I think you've just abducted my heart."

"What? Wally of course I'm an alien and you of all people should know that, and we don't abduct hearts or people."

"No, I meant it's um-"

Artemis let out a loud snort as she began laughing, Robin quickly following suit, while Kaldur hid a few chuckles himself and Conner frowned in confusion.

"Strike one!" Artemis said miming a baseball swing.

Wally simply shrugged laughing it off no worries he had a lot more up his sleeve.

* * *

Wally zoomed into the cave, looking around spotting M'gann in the kitchen but no team in sight and grinned. Perfect. She was in the kitchen baking cookies and Wally smirked.

"Can you give me directions to your heart? I seemed to have lost myself in your eyes." He flirted smiling at her.

"I-I don't understand." M'gann frowned, cocking her head. "How can you get directions to my heart. Or lose yourself in my eyes."

"It's a um never mind so whatcha making." He grinned, "Smells delicious."

"Thank you Wally. I'm making chocolate chip cookies."

"I'm sure they'll turn out great." Wally smiled, he had more coming up.

* * *

"Hey M'gann do you come here often?" Wally said leaning on over the couch and smiling at the confused girl.

"Um yes?" She said hesitantly, "I do live here after all."

"Yeah but I mean I-"

"Just quit while you're ahead KF." Robin said shaking his head.

Wally huffed and left the cave, maybe she needed more forward pickup lines.

* * *

Wally zoomed into the cave dressed in a tight tank top.

"Dude what are you wearing?" Robin snickered.

Artemis looked up in amusement preparing herself for another laugh fest. She hid behind her book secretly eyeing Wally's lithe form, while not as ripped as Conner or Aqualad he was still nice to look at it.

"Hey M'gann."

"Hello Wally."

"So, M'gann do you have tickets?"

"Tickets? Tickets for what?" M'gann asked cocking her head.

"Tickets to the gun show." Wally smirked flexing his arms in a classic bodybuilder mode.

At this everyone in the cave burst into laughter at the sight while Wally pouted, "You guys are just jealous of my sexiness."

"That's what it is." Robin deadpanned, "You're so sexy I can't contain myself."

* * *

Wally let out a sigh as he walked into Mt. Justice. Today was the day he was giving up on M'gann it simply wasn't meant to be. He just had one last thing to tell her.

He walked inside finding just M'gann in the kitchen and went up to her. "Hello M'gann."

"Hey Wally."

"Look I know you don't like me the way I like you and I'm sorry if I may have come off to strong."

"It's okay Wally." M'gann smiled.

"It's really not, and I'm really sorry." Wally said, grabbing her hands, "But I do have one last thing to say."

"Wally I-"

"I just wanted to tell you that if beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away."

"Oh Wally."

Wally merely smiled and kissed her cheek, "I've never meant anything more in my life."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me it's the truth."

M'gann watched him leave the room with a small smile on her face, hoping that one day Wally would find the girl who would be perfect for him.

* * *

 **Short I know but this is just me celebrating the fact that Young Justice season 3 is finally coming back woo and that maybe Wally might come back from the dead. Anyway, this is just gonna be a bunch of scenes of Wally flirting with people, give me any requests you have.**


	2. Artemis

Artemis walked into Mt. Justice finding no one around and grinned, perfect chance for some peace and quiet. She settled on the couch prepared to fully immerse herself in the teenage pastime of scrolling through social media for hours when the zeta beam made an announcement.

 _Recognized Kid Flash B03_

She huffed and let out an annoyed sigh so much for her alone time. She waited for some sort of comment and heard nothing letting out a shrug she turned back only to have Wally sitting by her. She looked up at him in confusion as grinned at her.

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

Artemis blinked at him for a couple of seconds mouth open in shock had Wally just hit on her? She pinched herself subtly finding out she wasn't dreaming. When that sunk in she snorted abruptly before she broke down in laughter. Of all the pick up lines….

"Somebody sure is full of himself."

Wally the narcissist merely grinned at her and preened.

"What can I say it comes naturally."

Artemis rolled her eyes scoffing as she got up and walked away ignoring Wally'sshout of how there was more where that came from. She doubted it.

* * *

"Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you."

One second Artemis was sitting on the sidelines watching Boy Blunder get his butt whooped by Black Canary and now she was being accosted by one annoying ginger. Apparently, now that Megan got herself a boyfriend she was no longer expected to suffer through said ginger's cheesy pickup lines.

She flushed upon realizing everybody was staring at her even Black Canary had stopped watching the two of them with an amused glance great. Robin was snickering under his breath the little troll while Megan was smiling softly most likely hiding a few giggles herself, Kaldur had on an exasperated face while Conner looked the same as he always did annoyed.

Turning to Wally she glared at him fiercely snatching her hand back upon realizing he still had it gripped in his own and glared hotly, "Your teeth look crooked. Let me straighten them for you." She threatened holding up her fist. With that being said she stalked out the room that ought to curb his enthusiasm. He'd been rejected straight up in front of everybody.

* * *

Artemis peeked into the kitchen sighing in relief on not spotting a certain speedster let it be known that she would never underestimate Wally's stubbornness again. The boy hadn't left her alone all week spotting out random pick up lines that sometimes bordered on creepy.

Sensing another presence she turned around ready to run, only to find the boy wonder grinning at her, speaking of creepy.

"Thought I was Wally." he grinned noticing her tensed stance

"Your friend is really starting to annoy me."

"Aw come on Arty we're all friends here."

"Yeah whatever"

"Glad you think so, sorry for this."

In a flash, pun not intended he had her tied to the fridge with steel ropes.

"Robin, what the hell?"

"Sorry, not sorry he's got some dirt on me that I don't want anyone finding out."

"You let me out of here right now"

"Nope, no can do. Hey if I got her!"

Artemis cursed tryIng to escape as Robin saluted her before disappearing with a cackle she was gonna skin that brat when she caught up to him.

A gust of wind distracted her from her thoughts and she ignored him as she tried to escape. What stupid pick up line was he gonna use this time.

"Bangwl'SoH."

"What?" She asked, looking up from her escape attempt to stare at him in confusion.

"That's Klingon for you are my beloved."

Artemis felt her eye twitch and her mouth quirk, but maintained her frowning disposition as she stared at him blankly before smirking, "No that's no for no."

Wally merely grinned, "That's cool there's more where that came from."

Artemis felt the smirk leave her face she was gonna kill Robin right after she got out of these bonds.

* * *

Batman was in the corner conversing with Red Tornado surely she thought that'd be enough to discourage Kid Idiot from hitting on her ha, yeah right dude had no shame in his body.

The two league members had barely started to leave the room when Wally's voice was heard as clear as day.

"You can forget about going to heaven because it's a sin to look that good."

Batman froze staring at the two of them his expression hidden behind his mask. Red Tornado's robot face also failed to show any emotion he was experiencing the rest of the room knew just exactly what they thought, hidden giggles and laughter escaping no matter how much they tried to hide it.

Artemis knew she was bright red but also knew that Kid Flash was dead spinning around she pulled out her bow and arrow taking aim relishing the fear that appeared in his green eyes as he zoomed off causing Robin to snort out loud and Artemis turned to him.

"Don't think I've forgotten about the kitchen incident."

Robin swallowed before disappearing into the darkness while Artemis turned to her teammates, "Anybody else think this funny?" Wide eyes and headshakes were what she was greeted with and she smirked to herself good.

* * *

 _Recognized Kid Flash B03_

Artemis sighed and braced herself for whatever cheesy pickup line he was gonna use no amount of threats, bribery, or blackmail had gotten him to stop and she suspected he wouldn't until he simply got tired.

Wally appeared in front of her shuffling quietly before making eye contact "Just so you know you're beautiful."

Artemis blinked in confusion eyes widening as Wally took a step closer "If I could be anything, I'd be a tear, born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die on your lips."

With that he was gone and Artemis touched her cheek a slow smile breaking across her face as she touched the spot, she could have a sworn she felt a small breeze a touch of lips.


	3. Barbara

**I'm back, took a hiatus but I will be finishing all of my stories.**

* * *

Wally tried not to let the stares of the rich upper crust socialites of Gotham get to him as he made his way towards Gotham Academy. Today was the start to the totally awesome weekend he had planned his best bro and no snooty rich kids could ruin his day.

Besides he mussed, judging from the looks he got, not all of them were judging the way his cheap clothes clung to his awesome body if he did say so himself.

Wally West had officially met one Dick Grayson at a Wayne party that his reporter of aunt had dragged him along too. Now he had an excuse to hang out with his best bro both in costume and out of costume.

Speaking of best bros, he looked around finally spotting his friend talking to a foxy red head, one Barbara Gordon he presumed, and if he was right the new redheaded batgirl that had appeared on the scenes. Stealthy making his way up to them he rearranged his fingers and pointed it into her back.

"You're under arrest!"

Okay so maybe sneaking up behind a girl trained by Batman was a bad idea, Wally mussed when he found himself on the ground two seconds later.

Barbara looked down at crossing her arms, "And what exactly am I arrested for?"

Wally grinned trying to look as seductive as he could from his place on the ground, "For stealing my heart."

At this Barbara rolled her eyes and walked away, sparing a quick wave at Dick, who turned to him and snickered, "Dude she totally owned you."

Wally could only shrug, "What can I say I'm a lover not a fighter."

* * *

Wally let out grunt as he sat up on the couch rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He let out a yawned looking around the room. He made his way to the kitchen making the fixings for a sandwich when the zeta beam went off.

 _Recognized Batgirl B16_

At that Wally dropped his knife and peered his head into the hallway watching in awe as a shapely redhead appeared at the school. A redhead that look remarkably similar to the one he'd met a couple of days ago. Making sure his costume was on correctly he zoomed into the room, grinning at her startled expression.

Wally smirked and shook her hand, "Kid Flash at your service and you must be tired."

 _Recognized Robin B01, Artemis B07_

He ignored his fellow comrades and smiled charmingly at Batgirl who slowly shook his hand and smiled back.

"Batgirl...and why would I be tired."

"Because you've been running through my mind all day!"

Artemis snorted covering her mouth, while Robin raised an eyebrow, smirking. Batgirl froze before smirking and moving closer.

"You're right." She said touching his chest

"I am?" Wally blinked in confusion

"Yeah. I've been running away from you!" With that Batgirl pulled at his mask snapping back into his forehead and stalked away.

"Ow!"

* * *

"Nice outfit Babs." Dick snickered.

"I'm going undercover and if you keep laughing I'm sure Bruce wouldn't mind sending back up."

Barbara Gordon was currently dressed in white and gold cheerleading outfit there were reports of a human trafficking ring going on at cheer competitions and the current hot item wanted was redheads.

Dick held up his hands in defeat but not before snapping a quick picture with his phone. At that moment Wally rushed into the room.

"Dude you gotta...woah." He paused staring at Barbara

"Not one word West." She hissed out not in the mood for his lines.

Wally only blinked before grinning, "Damn girl all those curves and me with no brakes."

Two seconds later Wally found himself wearing a gold and white cheerleading outfit as he went undercover.

"Me and my big mouth." He paused as he walked past a mirror and grinned, "Damn I am hot!"

* * *

The two redheads were currently back to back fending off bad guys with the rest of the team. It was an easy out, and Wally had just finished with his guy and turned to help Batgirl when he saw her deliver and expert roundhouse kick knocking out her last guy who was easily three times her size.

"Impressive." He said

"Thanks." She smirked only to notice that he was still staring at her. "What."

"Do you know karate? Cause your body is kicking." He said shooting finger guns at her

"Yes," Barbara rolled her eyes " and I'll demonstrate it if you don't stop."

Wally held up his hands in surrender and backed up quickly standing next to Superboy while Artemis walked up to her, "Nice one."

* * *

Barbara let out a sniffle as she stared outside the window watching everyone run around. What she wouldn't give to be able to run, to walk just one more time.

The doctors said that there's a chance she'd be able to walk by herself again but that it would take a long time. She wiped the tears from eyes, no use crying over spilt milk. What's done is done and now she was stuck in this stupid wheelchair.

She never imagined this happening when she became Batgirl. She gripped the bed clutching onto the handrail as she attempted to take a few steps only to fall onto the ground as her legs collapsed.

The door opened, and she threw a pillow towards it, "Go away!"

Light footsteps made their way toward her and Barbara huffed looking up to see Wally, of all people it had to be him. "I said go away!"

Wally merely stared at her before trying to help her up, to which she protested kicking and screaming before finally collapsing in his arms crying. When she finally stopped she gave a watery look to Wally

"Sorry."

Wally didn't say anything merely brushing a strand of red hair out of her face.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm sorry, I just mistook you for the sun, because you give light to everything around you." Wally said kissing her cheek.

Barbra froze feeling her face flush and against all odds she smiled, the first time since the Joker attacked her she smiled. Wally would always be unpredictable and amazing and great at making her feel that even in a wheelchair she was invincible.

* * *

 **Who should I do next? The last part was a reference to when Joker crippled Batgirl and she became Oracle for a bit.**


	4. Zatanna

Wally liked to think that he was a good friend, so it made sense that he didn't really flirt with his best friends crush. But if his friend wasn't gonna make a move then it was only natural for Wally to get a little flirt on, it's not like it meant anything it was all harmless. Like Zatanna was gonna fall for the guy who thought her magic was nothing more than parlor tricks.

They were all in the room listening to Batman explain their current mission. They were taking on Klarion the witchboy which meant that they were probably gonna need magical backup. Hence Batman was given them an update and they were waiting for Zatanna, speak of the devil.

 _Recognize Zatanna B07_

Wally snickered watching the way Robin's head shot up as he glanced at Zatanna.

"Hey Zee!"

Batman glanced at his protege and made eye contact with the speedster who smirked and Batman inwardly sighed he really didn't want to deal with whatever the speedster had planned.

Wally zoomed up next to Zatanna wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "Wow Zatanna! Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!"

"Dude!" Robin blurted out.

Zatanna snorted, shoving Wally off of her, "Did you eat a bowl of stupid this morning? Because you obviously can't tell I'm not interested."

"Oh who are you interested in?"

"None of your business."

Wally shrugged, but he didn't miss the way her eyes darted to Robin and back and judging by the frown on his face neither did Batman.

* * *

"Artemis I just...I don't understand." Zatanna huffed, "I thought he was into me but he hasn't made a single move."

They were currently talking about the object of her affections and annoyance one boy wonder. Artemis shrugged, "I don't know, maybe he's backing up because Kid Mouth is flirting with you."

"Ugh don't even get me started. I thought Wally was into-" She trailed off glancing at Artemis, "Never mind."

As if called, Wally walked in the door followed by Robin. He glanced down at his best friend and upon seeing him do nothing smirked.

He made his way over to Zatanna grinning and picked at her jacket.

"What are you doing?" She said ripping her arm away,

Wally shrugged, "Oh nothing, just checking to see if you were made in heaven."

Zatanna gaped before face palming as Wally left the room laughing and Artemis and Robin exchanged confused and slightly hurt glances.

* * *

"Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?"

The villain who they had currently had tied up raised in eyebrow in confusion glancing between Zatanna and Kid Flash.

"Did you seriously just use a line in front of the enemy?" Robin huffed, "Dude!"

Kid Flash just shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows, "Well."

"Not in this lifetime!" Zatanna huffed, storming out the room.

"Kid," The villain sighed shaking his head, "You've got a lot to learn."

* * *

Wally walked into the room spotting Zatanna seated alone at the couch and grinned, "What's up."

Zatanna raised an eyebrow at him, "What no pick up line."

"Well considering you're dating my best friend now. I probably shouldn't " Wally smirked, "What missing my awesome compliments."

Zatanna snorted and shoved him, "Yeah right."

"If you wanted one last pick up line you coulda just asked."

Zatanna laughed but looked up in confusion as Wally leaned in close and gripped her hand, "Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon."

He smiled at her kissing her hand and winked zooming out the room leaving a stunned and blushing Zatanna in the room.


End file.
